There’s something sacred about those teenage years—both beautiful and brutal in the same breath. If I could sit across from every 13 to 19-year-old girl and pour into her heart, I would. But since I can’t do that one-on-one just yet, this is my love letter to the girl who is still becoming.
Here are 24 things I need every teenage girl to know:
1. You are enough.
Not “when you lose weight.” Not “once you get better grades.” Not “if you’re chosen.” You are enough, right now.
2. Being pretty is not your life’s purpose.
You are more than a face. More than a dress size. More than how many likes you get.
3. Your body is not a problem.
It’s not too big. Not too small. Not too fast or too slow. It’s your home—treat it with kindness.
4. You’re allowed to change.
Friends, opinions, goals—you’re still growing. Don’t be afraid to evolve.
5. Your “no” is valid.
You don’t owe anyone a reason for protecting your peace, your space, or your safety.
6. Periods are not shameful.
Menstrual hygiene is a form of self-care. You are not dirty. You are powerful.
7. Choose friendships that feel like safety.
If you have to shrink, filter, or fake who you are around them—they’re not your people.
8. You can be soft and strong.
Gentleness is not weakness. Boldness is not aggression. You are allowed to be both.
9. It’s okay to be smart.
Don’t dim your light to make others comfortable. Shine—unapologetically.
10. Mistakes don’t define you.
Every queen has a past. What matters is how you rise.
11. Ask the hard questions.
About your body. About your future. About your feelings. Don’t silence your curiosity.
12. You don’t have to be chosen to be worthy.
Whether it’s a school team, a boy, or a friend group—rejection doesn’t reduce your value.
13. Hurt people, hurt people.
Sometimes the meanest girl in the room is the saddest one. Don’t take it personally.
14. God sees you—even when no one else does.
You’re not invisible to the One who made you. You are seen. You are loved.
15. You can say “I don’t know.”
You’re not supposed to have all the answers at 16. Or 26. Or even 46.
16. You deserve to take up space.
Don’t apologize for being in the room. Walk in like you belong—because you do.
17. No crush is worth your dignity.
Don’t lower your standards for a temporary feeling. The right people will meet you where you’re growing.
18. You’re allowed to rest.
You don’t have to be productive to be valuable. You are allowed to pause.
19. Your dreams are not too big.
If they scare you a little and excite you a lot, you’re on the right path.
20. It’s okay to feel everything deeply.
Joy. Sadness. Embarrassment. Anger. Don’t numb yourself—feel, process, heal.
21. You’re not alone.
Even when it feels like it, someone out there understands. Keep reaching out.
22. Comparison is a thief.
Your lane is sacred. Run your race. Don’t look sideways.
23. Healing takes time.
Whether it’s heartbreak or self-esteem, go gently. You don’t have to be “fixed” overnight.
24. You are becoming.
And that’s the most beautiful thing of all. Becoming takes time, grace, and love. Don’t rush it.
This list is part of what inspired me to create the Girl, Take Charge workshop.
A day of boldness, sisterhood, laughter, learning, and healing—designed for teen girls just like you.
If you’re a parent, guardian, or mentor of a girl aged 13 to 19, I’d love to invite you to register her for this one-day experience under the Shanda Initiative.
Register here : https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdmj7xOC6GVn5CWx4qSx5mpndxQHyITbiehaJWCxL8S_fRxlw/viewform?usp=header
Let’s raise a generation of girls who don’t just survive the world—they take charge of it.
Priceless,Thank you.