We live in a world that has done a great job teaching women how to show up —
How to dress well, how to wear the right scent, how to bathe, contour ……
And that’s beautiful.
But we must also keep shaping the inner woman.
Because what good does it bring to have matching eyebrows — but a broken character?
To wear perfume with a presence — but speak vulgar language?
To carry designer bags — but leak dishonour wherever we go?
A lady doesn’t just “look” put together.
She is put together — from the inside out.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how we carry ourselves as women.
What we say.
How we say it.
And more importantly — what we choose not to say.
Today, I want to honour a woman who shaped that understanding in me early: Mrs. Matengenzara, my high school teacher.
Her presence taught more than some textbooks ever could.
She used to tell us — and I remember it so vividly:
“A lady doesn’t shout.”
“A lady doesn’t eat and walk.”
“A lady doesn’t chew gum in public.”
At the time, we giggled. We didn’t get it. It felt like a list of old-fashioned “don’ts.”
But now?
Now I see how she was teaching us something bigger.
She was teaching us how to carry ourselves with dignity — not just in public, but in spirit.
Until this day, I can’t eat and walk — it feels unnatural.
Chewing gum in public still makes me second-guess myself.
And shouting? Even in anger, even when I’m right — it doesn’t come naturally to me.
She wasn’t trying to control us.
She was showing us that elegance isn’t loud.
That grace isn’t chaotic.
That womanhood is not about being “less” — it’s about knowing when and how to speak so that your voice carries weight, not just volume.
And now, as I mentor and speak to more women — especially the younger ones — I find myself remembering not just what Mrs. Matengenzara taught me, but what my father did too.
He once said to me:
“Once information is shared, it can never be retrieved.”
That sentence built a boundary in my spirit.
He was teaching me about discretion.
About sacredness.
About the importance of guarding your story — not because it’s shameful, but because it’s yours.
Not every part of your life is for public record.
Some details are for trusted spaces only — if anyone at all.
There’s power in restraint.
And with that, I’ve also come to believe this:
There are certain words that should never come out of a lady’s mouth.
Not because she’s trying to be perfect.
But because she understands that language carries identity.
Words shape atmosphere.
And once spoken, they cannot be unsaid.
The kind of woman I honour and strive to become is the one who doesn’t just know what to say — but also knows what to leave unsaid.
Because there’s a certain tone, a certain language, a certain posture — that makes you unforgettable, without ever needing to be unfiltered.