Be it in child bearing , getting a job or even excelling.
October is here.
The last quarter has begun — and while many are wrapping up budgets and setting goals, others are warming up their voices.
You know the ones.
There’s an uncle already checking his calendar — not for work, not for a birthday, but counting down to the next family gathering where he can finally ask,
“Saka munoita umwe mwana rinhi”?
Never mind that it’s none of his business.
Never mind that the couple is quietly battling miscarriages.
He believes a gathering isn’t complete until he questions someone’s womb.
Then there’s auntie in the corner — sweet smile, loud whispers.
She’s preparing to remind you that yes, you’ve married, but your value is still up for negotiation until a boy child arrives.
The girls you have are cute, she says…
But you know she’s waiting to declare:
“Murume anoda pekusiya zita rake.”
Verse three?
That cousin who is about to ask you what you actually “do” — with emphasis.
Because you’re still figuring it out.
Because your LinkedIn doesn’t impress them.
Because apparently your unemployment is a public emergency.
Then there’s the family elder who always pulls you aside with a low voice and a high dose of judgment:
“Saka hauna murume here kusvika nhasi?”
They’ll pretend to be asking with concern,
But it’s layered with assumptions, stigma, and that unspoken rule that a woman’s clock is ticking.
We speak about this every year.
But maybe the message keeps missing its target — or worse, the target keeps pretending not to hear.
So here we are again.
As we close the year, may we remember:
That wombs are not public property. Chatochikumbiro That children — all children — are blessings, not gendered trophies. That unemployment is not laziness. That singleness is not a sickness. That your journey is not up for discussion over rice and sadza.Let’s enter the last quarter with more compassion and less commentary.
And if you’re the one always throwing the questions — maybe this year, you could try asking yourself why.