A book for the boy child.

I’m writing a book. A book for the boy child.

It’s not just for him — it’s for the parent raising him too. The caregiver. The mother. The father. The mentor. The auntie who sees the gaps. The teacher who cares. It’s for every adult who believes we can raise men with emotional intelligence, purpose, and responsibility.

A few weeks ago, my copy editor sent back the first six chapters. We’re done with that phase, and now we move forward.

This book is close to my heart. And this message — about teaching, unlearning, and re-writing the syllabus for life — is something I carry deeply.

We owe our sons and daughters better. And that starts with what we say when we sit them down to teach.

“Rume rimwe harikombi churu.”
One person cannot surround an anthill alone.

And yet, for years, we’ve sat one person down — the bride — and tried to prepare her for the full weight of marriage, on her own.

We hold bridal showers with hours of advice, caution, prayers, and instruction. But often, what’s said lacks depth, context, and relevance. And honestly, it’s time we revisit what we’re teaching… and what we’re leaving out.

Why are we not including the groom?
Marriage is not a one-woman performance. It’s a union. Yet the man often receives no sessions, no counseling, no deep preparation. Just a suit, rings, and celebration. But tell me — who prepares him to lead, to love, to show up, to share?
If the bride must be advised, shouldn’t he be too?

Not all women will be housewives.
What about the bride who’s an architect? A business owner? A night-shift nurse?
Where is the bridal shower for today’s woman — the one building her own name, managing staff, or making international decisions?

Can we talk about real life — like illness, job loss, and mental health?
Love is not the only thing that visits marriage. Sometimes it’s grief. Sometimes it’s therapy. Sometimes it’s a medical diagnosis.
Why are we not equipping women to face real valleys? Not just romance.
What happens if he loses his job? Or spirals into depression? Or becomes emotionally unavailable?
Let’s prepare women with tools, not just tales.

I’ve seen too many brilliant women shrink….
Their dreams folded like laundry.
Their talents boxed behind submission.
But hear me: you’re still allowed to grow.
You can still apply for that PhD. You can still read books. You can still have hobbies.
Marriage should not erase you — it should evolve you.

Why is no one talking about finances?
And yet, money breaks homes more than unwashed dishes do.
Teach her to invest.
Teach her about joint accounts.
Teach her to recognize financial abuse.
Teach her that even if she marries a billionaire — she must still know how the billions work. Because if tragedy hits, the kids can’t eat vibes.

Let me end by saying this:
If bridal showers are truly about preparing the bride — then let’s prepare her for the full picture — the boardroom, the kitchen, the grief, the laughter, the betrayal, the investments, the growth.
Let’s make room for intellect, individuality, and identity.

Let’s change the syllabus.
Before we raise more women who only know how to exist, but not how to live.