“So… when are the babies coming?”
That question. The one that’s thrown so casually at newlyweds — over lunch, at church, at family gatherings, in WhatsApp groups.
Sometimes said with a laugh.
Sometimes whispered with raised eyebrows.
But often, without thought.
Let’s talk about it.
Because behind that one question…
Is someone who’s on their fourth round of IVF.
Is a couple quietly nursing a miscarriage that happened just weeks ago.
Is a wife who’s been told she may never conceive.
Is a husband who’s battling private shame.
Is a woman praying silently that this month, her period won’t come.
You don’t know.
You don’t know the prayers they’ve prayed.
You don’t know the doctors they’ve seen.
You don’t know the nights they’ve cried when the world was asleep.
You don’t know the anxiety they carry, walking into every gathering hoping — just hoping — that no one brings it up again.
So let me say it clearly:
Stop questioning people’s wombs.
Stop assuming that marriage is a pregnancy waiting to happen.
Stop assuming that children come just because you think it’s time.
Stop turning wombs into battlegrounds for unsolicited curiosity.
Some people are waiting.
Some people are grieving.
Some people are undecided.
Some people are walking through faith, fertility, or fear.
And guess what? Some people just want to live.
Newlyweds are not breeding projects.
They’re not baby factories.
They’re not obligated to perform to satisfy your expectations.
Let them be.
Let them love.
Let them figure it out in peace.
Instead of asking “When are the babies coming?”
Try asking:
“How are you settling in?”
“What has marriage taught you so far?”
“How can we support you in this season?”
Because those questions hold space.
They build bridges.
They carry grace.
Let’s do better.
Signed,
A woman who’s tired of seeing wombs wounded by words.
#LetThemBe #NewlywedRespect #HoldSpace #RuvimboWrites #GraceAndSensitivity #MindYourWords